September 27, 2007

Yes and No

Both of my children said yes way before they ever said no. Don't envy me, they figured out plenty of other ways to communicate no!!! Because of this, their use of the word yes had several different forms. Timothy said a very cute "deh" for maybe a year before he learned "yes". And now we're reading a wonderful book we checked out of the library called, "Yes, please...No, thank you". I think it's sinking in!

Through May of this year, Samantha just nodded yes. It was one giant nod from top to bottom (never multiple nods). It was very cute, and she would practically lose her balance because it was so exaggerated. Then at the end of May/beginning of June she started nodding regularly. At the end of August she finally decided to go with "yeah", and she has almost completely phased out the head nodding with it. I know that these are silly details, but before long all the cute baby actions and words will be gone. I won't be able to get them back, and I'll want to!

Many of you know that for the first year of Samantha's life, Timothy thought if he ignored her enough she would just go away. It was literally like she was an invisible person in the room. Thankfully, all that has changed now, and they have their own unique way of playing together. He thinks his sister is pretty "funny".

That being said, they have developed their own yes/no game. Timothy thinks it's hysterical that Samantha doesn't say no, so he starts the yes/no game. The entire game is that Timothy says no and Samantha says yes. They alternate saying their respective words forever until they're both rolling from laughter. And the game is clear to them. Sam knows when Timothy says "no" for real and when he's says "no" to start the game. When it's the latter, she just jumps on in.

And I would think the whole thing was totally adorable if it didn't have the end result of teaching Samantha the word no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Counting the days before the game's "alternative #1" is Timothy saying yes and Samantha saying no!

September 25, 2007

Forgiveness Isn't Natural

I had a weird sense from the beginning of this day that something bad was going to happen. Ever have a day like that? And for a long time my day was going very nicely (quality time with the Lord, wonderful time with the kids, brake pads won't cost too much, got a nap in, etc). In fact, I would have blogged earlier about my nice little happy day except that I knew it wasn't over. And sure enough, something hit me from left field. That's how it always happens doesn't it? And it's really not just something, it's someone. Someone hurt me. I won't go into who it was or how they did it (because my blog's purpose is not gossip), but it's the kind of hurt that goes to the core. I want to change it, fix it, apologize FOR them, and yet none of that is possible.

About 2 hours before this event, I read this: "...Nothing in us can absorb sin. Nothing. Even when we are the one being sinned against, we still cannot handle sin, because sin done to us will always ignite the nature of the sin already in us. So, we give ourselves permission to act out sinfully. Twisted, isn't it? It all makes us want to scream, 'That isn't fair. I wasn't the one who started this. I wasn't the one who sinned!' And we're right. It is not fair. Sin does not play fair." I think I could have spoken those words myself!

So here I am in an honest to goodness moment where something was actually done wrong to me, and yet my brilliant solution to it is to see how many ways I can sin in reaction to it. If I don't "react", what is left to do? Admit the pain of being betrayed and unloved. Here I am admitting it. I'm too tired to do anything else.

I'm so glad that God's nature is different from mine. My sin did not ignite sin in Him because he is sinless. Instead, he sent his son to die on a cross, so that my sins might be forgiven and I might have his Spirit nature. Colossians 3:13 says "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." That's quite a standard! It seems that the process of forgiveness and confession go hand in hand. If I'm going to experience the pain of wrongs done to me and subsequent forgiveness for those, I might as well dive into the pain of my own unconfessed sin.

The precious thing about our Lord is that in the very moment we confess our sin and hurts, He is there speaking the truth of His love into our lives. Why do I try to pretend I'm not hurt or not sinning when I know my Lord just wants to make me whole? "And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before Him at His coming." 1 John 2:28

September 20, 2007

To Blog or Not to Blog

Dan (my husband) read all my posts as I was getting ready to announce my blog, and he said, "Where is the one about you?" Hmmm. If I'm going to be honest, I just don't think of my life apart from being a wife and a mother. But I want to! I've wrestled for months about whether I should blog or not blog. The last thing I want to do is be more isolated from family and friends than I already am. A friend (thank you, Steph) gave me some very logical reasoning for how blogging does not have to hurt relationships, but can actually help them. That's my goal!! So in time you will read real blogs from me, that will include stories about my family, but have the intention of revealing who I am as a person.


  • She LOVES to eat. The crunchier and chewier the better! You can see the picture I've posted of her eating broccoli. Ironically, for her, it would be better if it was smothered with cheese or butter (yes, that's straight from the doctor), but at least she's eating something with tons of nutrition! She eats broccoli from the top like she's mowing grass.
  • She's our little gymnast. She's a great climber and can even balance on Dan's back when he's laying on his stomach (imagine surfing).
  • Her vocabulary just exploded this week! "Tank-o" (thank you) sounds the cutest, saying it when she's supposed to and when we're supposed to.
  • CF-She has been amazingly healthy lung-wise. Unfortunately, she's dropped back off the growth chart since our last doctor's visit in Dallas. She is very small, and we are working like crazy to stuff calories into her! More blogs to come on this topic.
  • She is so good about sleeping. When it's bedtime, I can say, "Are you ready to go night night?". She says "yeah", puts her thumb in her mouth (which she only does when sleepy), and then walks to her room. In fact, earlier today I was "blogging" and she was being awfully quiet. Last I had seen her she was sitting on Timothy's bed reading books. I went upstairs to check on her, and she had laid herself down on Timothy's pillow and gone to sleep! It was naptime, and she knew it. I moved her to her crib, but I think it's time for a big-girl bed. Sniff sniff.

September 19, 2007


  • He can identify almost every car symbol and LOVES to do it. The other day Ford and Suzuki were his favorites, but yesterday it was Scion!
  • He just started identifying football teams. He knows the Eagles but not the Cowboys or Chiefs, so we have some work to do. He requests Sports Center over cartoons now, so I don't think it will take long.
  • Green is his favorite color (not influenced by me, for those of you who knew me in 9th grade!)
  • Preschool is from 1-5 every day. It's the same school he was at when we moved to Dallas, and I didn't think we would get back in. Not only did he get in, but he even started the first day of school, so I'm very pleased. He loves going to school to be with "all the boys and girls".
  • He cherishes Samantha - Two days ago they were playing and I called him to go to school. He said, "Sorry Sam. I really, really have to go to school. See you tomorrow." Then when I picked him up from school he said, "I miss Sam." Yesterday, Dan picked him up from school, and when he came in the door he gave me a quick cursory hug, then asked where Sam was.
  • He is aggressively independent, which is a continual reminder to his parents of how we act towards our Heavenly Father.
  • He loves to sing and dance. He is convinced he can break dance because "that is cool". Recently, he has started making up his own lyrics to all his favorite songs. It's so fun!

Dan's Work Schedule

Everyone always asks me what Dan's schedule is like, so I figured I would spend some time explaining. I've been given permission to say that IN GENERAL there is an 18 months home, 6 months deployed rotation when we're on sea duty. But even when they're "home" they spend a great deal of time away preparing for deployment. For example, 2006 was a "home" year, and Dan spent 1/3 of it on the ship.

Not everything is bad, though. Dan has been on “stand down” the last month which means he has only had to go to the ship about 5 times during the whole month. It’s a wonderful perk after a 7 month deployment. He goes back to work on Monday, and for a while it will be as close to a 9 to 5 schedule as the Navy gets. Before long we’ll be working up to the next deployment, but if I tell you when that is I would have to kill you.

Living Situation

We are living in military housing about 4 miles from the housing we lived in before the kids and I moved to Dallas. It is just a few years old and very nice. We have 3 bedrooms, 2½ baths, 2 living areas, and a 2-car garage. I have no reason to complain, and have determined in my heart that I will not!

Oh, and the most important thing is that we have central A/C. Background story: We didn’t have A/C in our last housing. That’s usually not a problem at all in San Diego, but there was a heat wave last summer. That combined with the fact that Samantha’s CF causes her to dehydrate very easily (even right now her dietician has her on Gatorade every day) caused me to be a little bit of a crazy person. If you didn’t have the privilege of hearing me freak out about it (and there can’t be many of you), feel lucky!!! One of the reasons I moved to Dallas was to be able to move back to this housing and make sure Sam wouldn’t spend another summer like that.

Returning to San Diego

Trip to SD – My mom drove with me and the kids back to San Diego. Timothy has always been great on long trips, but Samantha thinks otherwise! Driving to TX in Dec was quite challenging, but she discovered the joy of Dora and Diego movies. What did parents do before movie players? This trip couldn't have been easier. I am so thankful to my mom for making that trip with me-it was lots of fun!

Return of the USS Antietam -- After 7 years with Dan, this was my first "homecoming", and it was high energy. The whole pier radiated happiness. They had a balloon maker, and Timothy & another boy had about a 10 minute sword fight with their sword-balloons. Samantha was a little scared to go to Daddy (that was fixed by the end of the day), but Timothy was in heaven. In fact, he didn’t even want to leave until he could “go on Daddy’s ship”. I was interviewed that day by the L.A. Times. It is by no means a perfect quote, but I think he got the general tone of what I was saying. Here is the link:,1,949666.story?ctrack=1&cset=true