Aloha Friday: Can't Live Without

Kailani of An Island Life writes...In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would take it easy on posting, too. Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that requires a lengthy response. If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link below. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

This week at MOPS we did something very fun. We brought a product (or two) that we can't live without, something that makes our lives that much more manageable, and shared it with the group. The products I shared I've blogged about here and here. And some of the products shared were:

Folex Instant Carpet Spot Remover

I actually meant to take this and was so happy someone mentioned it-amazing stuff!

Kiddopotamus Swaddle Me Adjustable Instant Fleece

This must be the modern thing because as recent as 6 years ago with Timothy, we used a blanket to swaddle, but everyone said this thing works.

Boon Squirt-Baby Food Dispensing Spoon

That rounded part is squeezable, so you can fill it with yogurt, baby food, etc and feed one-handed. Pretty cool.

So I guess my question to you is obvious! You can either leave an answer or a link to it in the comments!

What is a product that you can't live without?

If you would like to read some more Aloha Friday questions or participate yourself, just visit An Island Life!

MOPS Moment: Birth Order

Yesterday at MOPS our speaker talked to us about birth order. It is so fascinating, and as you may know....

1st Born-responsible (either IS or feels the pressure to BE), driven, bossy!
Middle Born-peacemaker, flexible
Last Born-adventurous, risk taker, possible a rule breaker

Our speaker had us get into groups based on these 3 categories. There were 10 people at the 1st born table, 8 at the last born, and only THREE at the middle born table. Imagine you could be 4th in a family of 6 or 2nd in a family of 3, and we still only had 3 of them! Not only that, 2 of the 3 women at that table were Mentor Moms. I can't help but wonder if middle children don't feel the need for things like MOPS as much as the other 2 categories.

I am a 1st Born, but in terms of my formative years I am an only child. I didn't have a sibling until I was 12, which make the dynamic quite different! I don't think I have to explain the negative stereotypes of only children! When it comes to birth order dynamics, any span of 7 years or more "resets" the rules.

A phrase he used repeatedly that I really liked was "Birth Order is DEscriptive, no PREscriptive." We shouldn't pigeon-hole others or ourselves.

He shared another tidbit that I can't get out of my head. Older siblings have a 1-2 point higher IQ (according to studies). This is because we learn the best when we are teaching others, and older siblings are always teaching their younger siblings all kinds of things (rolling the ball, singing a song, working a puzzle, etc.) I must have heard Timothy teach something to Samantha 15 times yesterday after MOPS. And of course he does it with the exact same intonation and organization as I do (First, Then, Last)!

If any of you have a MOPS group (or any gathering of moms), take an informal survey! It's really quite fascinating! For more info, here are some articles:

Time Magazine: The Power of Birth Order

Washington Post: The Birth-Order Effect

MOPS Moment: Predator Proofing Your Children

MOPS has been a great experience for me. Besides meeting wonderful women, I am continually impressed by the speakers. They range in personality and topic, but all seem to share something interesting. My group meets weekly, so I thought it would be fun and informative to start a weekly "column" called MOPS Moment. There is a GIVEAWAY at the end of the post!

Our first meeting of the year was on the topic, "Predator Proofing Your Children". I know-it's heavy. It's been one of those weeks. This was led by Karen Wood, senior director at Camp Alandale, a Christian camp which ministers to abused and neglected children. Karen was kind and clearly experienced. We were even given a 55 page workbook that is available in PDF form. It is fantastic, and the best part is...

You can download it here.

Some quick points that stuck out to me:

1. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be molested at least once before age 18.
2. 95% of abuse is committed by someone the child knows. [I couldn't help but think, so that means that I most likely will also know my child's abuser-who am I trusting right now that I shouldn't be?]
3. Average molestation lasts 15 seconds to 5 minutes. [That's awful!]
4. 50% of abuse is child to child (minor to minor).

PART 2 of the workbook is PREVENTIVE MEASURES AND TRAINING YOUR CHILD

One of the biggest problems Karen cited is that we teach our children to obey any form of authority, and then children have no idea which settings they are allowed to scream no and deem unacceptable. I love this story that illustrates how we can begin to teach our children boundaries in this area:

She told of a mom who was giving her two year old son a bath when he asked what the private part of his body is called. The mother said, "That is your p____ and it is only yours. No one is to touch you there and you are not to touch anyone else's private area." This 2-yr old immediately starting chanting, "My-y-y p_____, no one is allowed to touch it!!!"

PART 4, Section 15: QUESTIONS TO FORMULATE A FAMILY PLAN. Instead of making us try to think of the most common scenarios where we need to be on guard, this has it all laid out. For example,

Question #1: Plan to provide safety for your children to use public restrooms?

Question #2: Sleep-over guidelines (and many sub-questions in this)?

Question #6: What part has prayer played in protecting your family?

The plan is pages long. This is truly just an excerpt! The nice thing about it is that if we as women want to bring it up with our husbands (formulating a family plan, that is), then we don't have to bore them with our lengthy explanations! We can just sit down with these questions and build a plan together.

If you live in Southern California (especially if you have a MOPS group), Karen speaks regularly and you may want to find out how to book a seminar. There's nothing in it for me-she was just that good!

Camp Alandale is always looking for camp counselors as well. If you are a healed abuse victim or just care very much about abused children you may want to download an application.

Lastly, Karen held a giveaway, and I won her book on tape, called "Lord Take Care of Me!" It contains multiple stories of children who have found hope and healing after being abused. Before I open it up, I just feel led to make it available to my blogging audience. Maybe you were abused as a child and haven't told a soul? Maybe you just found out that your child has been molested? Maybe you're interested in working with abused children, either at Camp Alandale or in your own community? You won't be required to tell me why it interests you-just send me your address, and I will get it in the mail ASAP. Email me at experiencingeachmoment@gmail.com.

The Bathroom Door Letter

Our MOPS Speaker this week shared this, and I thought anyone can relate!! How many times have you wanted to say this...

Please do not stand here and talk, whine or ask questions.

Wait until I get out.

Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped.

I know I have left it unlocked and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it’s been 8 years and I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling “She’s in the BATHROOM!”

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.

Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

And yes, I still love you.

Mom

MOPS

I have the privilege of being a table leader for the MOPS I attend. Since this church is located near military housing we have several military moms. Almost half of the MOPS in attendance are military wives, so our table is military specific (6 Navy, 1 Marine). I know I sound like a broken record, but this has been one of the best experiences of my life! Specifically, for the first time in my life...

1. I live in walking distance to friends! It's SO fun to walk a block to a friend's house or meet at the community playgrounds (w/in our housing) every day. I'll be driving home from somewhere and see friends at the playground, and stop just for the opportunity to get some girlfriend time (oh, yeah, and for the kids!)

2. I have military friends who are also Christians. And the honest truth is I just haven't had many military friends. My first 7 yrs as a Navy wife I lived pretty "civilian", and I'm still learning the terminology and the "life". It's been a wonderful blessing to know people who not only have the same stresses that I do, but choose to turn to the Lord to be their guide.

Here is a picture of my table. One woman was missing this morning (Baby Bella is standing in), but we had to get a picture today because next week I lose one of my moms and two weeks after that I lose another! Life of the military. Susan (2nd from the left) is going home to spend the last 2 1/2 months of her husband's 1 yr IA assignment with her family. As a woman who moved home for an entire 8 month deployment, I understand! And Amber (3rd from right) is transferring to Hawaii, and if I had any power in the world I would stop it! Martha is our amazing Mentor mom and the wife of a retired Navy captain. He was in 28 years. She's experienced it all!

So I have to explain the ferris wheel in front. Our theme this year is Adventures in Mothering...think amusement park. So each of our tables is a different ride. We are the sunwheels, which is the name of the Ferris Wheel at California Adventure. Amber thought of making it out of tinker toys, my hubby engineered it, and I put it together along with the added color. I'm most proud that it spins!!

Today we had a famous speaker by the name of Pam Farrel. If you've been to a Family Life Conference you've heard of her. She and her husband wrote "Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti" and dozens of others. Today she talked about a book entitled "Red Hot Monogamy". She had some great ideas that I think could help couples in this particular area (you know, THAT area) of their marriage.

Summer is Ending

My MOPS group has had a couple of playdates almost every week this summer. Most schools start on Sept 2nd here, so yesterday was our last playdate. It was so much fun! Light, summery food...happily playing kids...great conversation. We leave that all behind in a few days, and to tell you the truth, I have been extremely anxious about it. Kindergarten. How will my little boy handle it? Is there a chance it won't be as hard as I'm imagining? Will I finally give these fears over to my Father and NOT pick them back up again? Can I start to imagine how fun it will be to have one-on-one time with Samantha for the 1st time in her 2 1/2 years of life? Scripture memory needs to be way more of a priority than it is right now.